How Romantic Comedies Have Shaped Modern Expectations of Love And Dating


Influence on Perceptions of Real-Life Relationships

A study by the University of Michigan involving 426 female undergraduates found that individuals who perceived romantic comedies as realistic were more prone to believe myths about stalking. These participants also viewed persistent romantic pursuit as acceptable, even when the pursued individual showed signs of disinterest. Conversely, when the same group watched psychological thrillers featuring stalking behavior, they were less inclined to perceive the behavior as romantic and more likely to recognize it as dangerous. This indicates that the comedic framing of persistent romantic pursuit in romantic comedies can convert otherwise disturbing behavior into something perceived as charming.

In a different study conducted by Saint Mary’s College of California, researchers examined how media shapes relationship expectations and beliefs. They identified “love conquers all” as the most common takeaway message from romantic comedies. This message, although aspirational, can lead to unrealistic expectations and subsequent disappointment in real-life relationships. Additionally, the portrayal of love overcoming significant obstacles often downplays the complexities inherent in real relationships.

Romantic Comedy and Relationship Satisfaction

A 2023 poll of 2,000 British adults revealed that 46% of respondents perceived romantic comedies like “Notting Hill” and “Pretty Woman” as presenting unrealistic relationship expectations. Only 29% believed these films accurately depict real-life romance. Over a quarter of those surveyed reported having argued with a partner due to situations influenced by romantic comedies, and 15% had ended a relationship because of the expectations set by these films. Despite these issues, romantic comedies remain popular, with 35% of Britons watching them regularly.

Interestingly, the poll also found that 40% of participants felt more satisfied watching a romantic comedy than interacting with their partner. This finding highlights the escapist appeal of these films and underscores the potential for viewers to set unrealistic standards for their relationships based on their cinematic experiences. Psychologist Jo Hemming emphasized the importance of self-reflection for viewers, noting that film scenarios like holding a boombox outside someone’s window might not translate well into real-life relationship practices.

Historical Context and Modern Impact

The term “date” appeared in historical records in English in 1896, around the time when urban women began earning their own money and going out independently, as noted by Moira Weigel in “Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating.” This suggests that dating, as understood today, coincides with evolving gender roles and expectations. Additionally, a 2016 study published in the journal Communication Research found that media portrayals of persistent romantic pursuit can shape viewers’ beliefs about stalking. Participants who watched romantic comedies showcasing this trope were more likely to agree with myths such as “Many alleged stalking victims are actually people who played hard to get and changed their minds afterward.”

Contrastingly, the same participants who watched psychological thrillers recognized stalking behavior as dangerous rather than romantic. This discrepancy points to how comedic framing in romantic comedies can skew the perception of inappropriate behavior.

Media Portrayals and Real-Life Expectations

In her book “Magnificent Rebels: The First Romantics and the Invention of the Self,” Andrea Wulf discusses how the ideas of the Jena Romantics in late 18th-century Germany have influenced contemporary views on love and relationships. This group, influenced by the French Revolution’s emphasis on individualism and emotional experience, contributed to the development of romanticism.

Options for finding a partner today are plentiful and varied, including everything from traditional dating to people wanting to know how to find a sugar daddy. This variety guarantees that everyone can find the method that best suits their relationship goals and preferences. Despite the prevalence of modern dating methods, the romantic ideal of spontaneous meet-cutes persists, with many young people still yearning for serendipitous connections. This highlights that while technology has altered modern dating dynamics, the underlying desires for love and connection remain largely unchanged.

Lacey Greenwell, in her research paper “The Effects of Romantic Comedies on Relationships,” explores how idealized portrayals of love in these films can negatively impact real-life relationships, noting the high divorce rate in American marriages. Although Greenwell stops short of attributing these divorce rates directly to romantic comedies, she does discuss how these films’ unrealistic portrayals of relationships contribute to dissatisfaction and unrealistic expectations.

Intriguingly, a study by the University of Rochester found that married couples who watched and discussed romantic comedies experienced increased relationship satisfaction over time. This suggests that recognition of the distinctions between on-screen and real-life relationships can mitigate negative impacts, enhancing relationship satisfaction.


In her article “In Romantic Comedies, It’s Cute. In Real Life, It’s Stalking,” Daron Taylor discusses how “romantic” movie gestures, such as a man hiring a detective to track down his prom date in “There’s Something About Mary,” would be construed as stalking in real life. This observation stresses the power of media to shape perceptions of acceptable behavior in relationships.

The Atlantic’s Faith Hill examines how dating apps have influenced expectations and experiences of romance. These apps have facilitated meeting potential partners but also introduced challenges like constant searching for better options and unrealistic expectations. While technology has significantly altered dating landscapes, the romantic ideal of spontaneous and serendipitous meetings continues to hold allure for many young people.

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